Today's abuse is... well, it's not that I want to focus on it or wallow in it, but I think it's important that I write down these incidents so I can reread, recall, and remember when things are going well and my abuser, AKA my husband, is in the happy phase of his abusive behavior. I've found this phase nearly as, if not more, difficult to deal with as the blatant abuse phase. When it's in my face, it's easy to point out and realize I need to leave. When he's nice (or as nice as he can be, especially when he wants others to see how "wonderful" he treats me) it's hard to not fall into his trap.
So, today he had a cars and coffee event and had asked me last weekend if I wanted to go and drive one of his collector cars. I balked a bit saying I wouldn't know anyone, and he asked what else I had to do. I thought about it and realized I didn't have much else going on on a Saturday morning so decided I would go. I informed him last night I was going and he didn't seem too thrilled about it, but oh well. He told me this morning I should drive the Miata because a guy was interested in trading for another car. Fine. I drove the Miata and took plenty of reading material. I arrived about 9:45a and hung out for a while talking with various car club members, but mostly reading textbooks I'm considering using for a class I'm teaching. When noontime rolled around and people started leaving my husband came up to me and said I might as well leave, that the guy who was interested in the car didn't want it. I didn't leave though; I hung around longer. About ten minutes later he came up to where I was reading and asked if I wanted to go have lunch and I said yes, but needed to check and see what my son was doing. He walked about, obviously not serious about lunch. Right around 12:25p my husband approached me again and said I might as well leave. Hmmm... I should've known he was trying to get rid of me.
A few minutes later I saw an Asian woman walk up to the shop and stop outside and ask someone something. Wait. It was Jai Rung (or whatever the hell her name is), a colleague of my husband's. What the fuck was she doing there? She walked inside and looked at me right away and said hello. I nodded then sat and watched as my husband came up, pulled her away from the area I was at. I could see out the windows he took her over to see his car (she's seen it before; come on) then walked her around the back of the building. They then appeared and I heard him introducing her to people and saying they were going to work on her Honda.
I grabbed my stuff and took it to the car. I was going to leave without saying anything but decided to call my son first to see what he needed. My husband came up to me while I was on the phone asking what was up. What a dumb shit. I told him nastily to hold on. Then I went inside, went to the bathroom, got in my car and left while him and the Korean woman watched me drive off. I didn't say a word. She said good-bye to me and I barely lifted my hand to wave.
What a fucking jerk. My husband had no reason to hide the fact that she was coming. He had no reason to keep telling me to leave. Unless, of course, there's something going on between those two that he wanted to hide from me. Obviously, he didn't want me to know she was coming and that he had plans with her.
Yes, he wanted to hide it from me. What an asshole.
I was feeling really great today. I just had my boobs redone last week and am finally happy about the size (another story). My husband is such an abusive jerk that he has only commented on how big they are, implying they're too big (they're not). I finally asked him this morning if he liked them and he said yes, they look great. He claims his main concern is he doesn't want me to be in pain anymore, which I think is only so he doesn't have to hear me tell him when I'm in pain. I know his concern for my feelings or physical well-being are minimal, if non-existent.
Well, that's today's abuse du jour... stay tuned for more.