Saturday, November 26, 2011

Abandonded in Arizona

Okay... so I should've known better than to hitch a ride to AZ with him for Thanksgiving. I really didn't even want to go but he sorta pushed it. He said his friend's wife, Gail, would come over and feed my dogs so it seemed like all was working out. And he wanted to hang out at his brother's awesome, custom home (even though his brother wouldn't be there). And, he offered to drive his Prius over so it would be minimal cost for gas.

Initially, my son didn't want to go because he didn't want to be around him. He HATES him. He then agreed because he wanted to hang out with my sister's daughter, his cousin. Cool.

So, Wednesday morning we, my son and I, drive to his house, park my car, load up his, and off we go to Arizona. The drive over was uneventful, however, he and my son exchanged few, if any words. We stopped for gas and food and my son heard him ask if we, my sister and me, had figured out where to eat Thanksgiving dinner. I told him no, not yet. I could tell he was completely irritated by that. In fact, I could tell his irritation and anger had started brewing a day or two earlier.

Red flag.

My son overheard him ask about Thanksgiving dinner and told me, when he (abuser) was in a store buying a drink that he refused to eat dinner with him and that he's not part of our family and he's going to call him on his shit. I told him we'd talk about it later, after we got to my sister's house.

For the rest of the drive my son stared making comments that called my abuser on his shit, which made me uncomfortable because I knew it would cause more pressure and an eventual outburst. For instance, we first stopped at my abuser's brother's house so he could get the house key from the guard shack, and he almost turned in the wrong entrance to the closed community. My son commented from the back seat that when I did that last year my abuser got really angry at me for nearly taking the wrong turn. Nobody said anything, but my son was completely right. (I had forgotten about that.)

I sent my son a text while were driving and he told me he HATES him and isn't going to put up with my abuser's shit. I then had a premonition of my abuser blowing up, getting angry and leaving us stranded in Arizona. I told myself if he did that I would NEVER talk to him again. I also felt very stressed because I knew it was a very real possibility.

Thanksgiving evening my abuser got angry because my sister and I didn't want to eat at the restaurant we had gone to (buffet didn't look good). He sat in the courtyard outside the restaurant, people milling around, and wouldn't leave. My son went up to him and said, "Where do you get off choosing where we get to eat?" My abuser raged. He started shouting at my son (in public, mind you) that he's nothing but a "dope smoker" and a "prick" and other uncomplimentary verbally abusive things as he was walking toward his car. My son followed him and told him he's an asshole, to which he replied, "Tell my something I don't already know. Find your own way home." He got in his car and sped off.

We all stood there, stunned over what had just happened. I said I knew this was going to happen (due to earlier premonition) and my son asked if I thought it was his fault. I said no, absolutely not. We walked across the street to a steak house and had Thanksgiving dinner there.

Just after getting seated I got a text from my abuser husband that said: "I'm going back home tonight and filing for divorce on Monday. You've lost it, our marriage and any hope for a success [sic] future with Adam."

This is it. I am never talking to that man again.

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