It's not like I'm surprised or anything, or that I even didn't suspect it, or that it even matters at this point. My abuser husband is so disgusting to me right now, I hope I never see his lying, cheating, fake face again.
Per my earlier post... last night when my husband was out until 4:15am I decided, just for the hell of it, to take inventory of his blue pills. There is no better evidence than that. So, this evening when I got home from work he was gone, but I noticed he had taken a shower and I could smell cologne in the air. I counted his blue pills: 1 is missing.
I know who he's seeing too, a female jazz violinist, whom he claims is an awful musician. Perfect match for him! At any rate, after I noticed the missing blue pill I called the girl's cell and didn't say anything; just blank air. Of course, since my husband is with her, I got a text from him soon after asking that I leave a copy of the automobile insurance policy for him to review so he can compare to the quote to what I paid (I told him to get his own insurance, that I'm not renewing with him or his four cars). He then said thanks. I texted back saying, "Please bring back the Viagra you took out with you tonight. Thanks." He didn't respond.
How did I ever think I could change his man? I was really, really dreaming that he would have the courage and insight to look inside himself, take an honest inventory, and be a partner. Instead, he's taken my soul, tossed it around his for his pleasure or pain, then cast me aside when I failed to conform to his absurd whims.
The man is narcissistic and abusive. I'm sorry I ever gave him my heart.
I'm actually doing okay. In some respects, I'm happy this nightmare is nearly over. In other respects, I'm still afraid. We still live in the same house.
God... please protect me and my son, and show us a safe, warm and affordable place to move.
Big big giant (((hugs))).
ReplyDeleteYou are a better person than this man, I hope your prayers are answered.
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